


Princes and Stars

by CrochetingWords



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, POV Isak Valtersen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-15 17:30:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16067909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrochetingWords/pseuds/CrochetingWords
Summary: He grew up on stories and fairy tales of princes and princesses finding their soulmates and there was no doubt in Isak’s mind that one day he would also find his. It was just a matter of time. But once the years tick by and all of his friends have already found theirs, twenty-two year old Isak is no longer sure that he even has one.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before I start this story, I want to let you know I haven't abandoned my previous unfinished story. I've just seriously been struggling with it and may have to rewrite it and right now don't have any good estimates to give of when I'll continue it. But instead of banging my head against the wall with that one, I've decided to give this Soulmate AU idea a go. I do want to warn you that my plans for updating this one is every 2-3 weeks, just in case you want to wait until it's complete before you start to read.
> 
> I've been reading all the lovely comments on my previous stories and even though I haven't been good with responding for some time, I just wanted you guys to know that they really do mean a lot so thank you for the nice words. <3

If asked whether or not he believed he’d one day find his soulmate, Isak aged seven, would have simply nodded with a grin so bright it could power the city. All the while never saying a word, the boy still too shy to speak freely with adults and even many of his classmates. His then small hand clasped in an equally small but protective hand belonging to his newly made best friend, Jonas. Raised on stories and fairy tales of princes and princesses finding their other halves, there was no doubt in Isak’s mind that he would as well. It was just a matter of time. And the seven year old was in no rush, because he had Jonas now and he was no longer alone.

It wasn’t until he turned ten that he realized soulmates weren’t as simple and straight forward as he was led to believe. No, there were rules he hadn’t been aware of before. Because when one evening at the dinner table he proudly announced that he had found his soulmate in Jonas, the room had turned silent. He instantly understood that it had something to do with his words, but he didn’t understand the why of it. Jonas was his best friend and his mother often told him that he would be inseparable with his soulmate who would then become the one person in the world he would confide all his secrets in, spending all his time with talking late into the night, and would make him feel happiness like he never thought he could. But to Isak, that was Jonas.

His mother sat looking into space for a moment before turning back to him with a smile. A careful smile, not the same ones she gave freely when they were playing and laughing together.

“Remember the goodnight story I used to read to you when you were little? About the young prince?” She asked.

Isak nodded, “I can read that one all on my own now though,” he boasted.

“That’s right sweetheart,” his mother beamed before continuing, “and do you remember what the story was about then?”

Isak nodded enthusiastically, “about soulmates!” In fact it had been his favourite of all the ones he grew up on.

“Right, the young prince who was beloved by his entire kingdom but couldn’t feel whole no matter what he tried. And you know how the rest goes.”

“Yeah, but can you tell it again?” Isak pouted. Just because he could read on his own now didn’t mean that he didn’t miss his mother’s soothing voice washing over him, leaving his imagination free to play the story out like a movie inside his mind.

“Alright, come here,” his mom opened up her arms so Isak could climb up into her lap and get comfortable before starting the story.

“Many many years ago there was a prince who had everything he could possibly want. He had friends both human and animal and more riches than he knew what to do with. He was never alone and always loved. But despite all that, he still felt like something was missing. Like he was only one half of a whole. The prince tried making more friends and they distracted him for a while, but after some time that nagging feeling returned. So he tried spending more time amongst his people, making them love him even more. But even that only lasted so long. So finally he set out after even more riches which only left him feeling hollow inside.

“He called upon his healer, the best in all the lands, and begged him to figure out what was wrong with him. But the healer was at a loss. He had never before seen anything like it. So he figured maybe the prince was just restless and told him to go out on an adventure. Taking his advice, the prince went out and slayed every beast he could find. He was gone for an entire year and came back a hero, his lands safer than ever. 

“At the celebrations that were thrown upon his return, his healer asked, “did your adventures cure you of what ailed you, my lord?” The prince simply smiled back and responded, “I have all the love, riches, and now glory a man could wish for. What more could be missing?” Satisfied, the healer returned to the festivities. But the question the prince had asked was a real one. What could possibly be still missing?

“Saddened, he walked to the edge of the gardens to be by himself when he overheard a group of children singing an old song he recognized from his own childhood.

Up so high is where they live,  
And a wish is what they’ll give.  
Catch one when it comes down,  
Catch one when it comes to our town.  
Oh stars above grant us our wish,  
Even if it’s only for one sweet dish.  
Oh stars above hear our plea,  
Don’t let our sailors drown out at sea.  
Oh stars above,  
Give help to those who seek love.

“The prince remembered all those times he sat out looking at the those same stars wishing his youth away. He looked up at the clear starry night with a frown. Even despite his scepticism, he still closed his eyes and wished real hard. He wished for something to make him feel whole.

“Little did he know that there was someone watching over him, listening to his wishes all those years. One shy little star who had always been fascinated with the prince. And it wasn’t until the prince’s 21st birthday that the star finally had the courage to come down. 

“So the night of his birthday, the prince stood out alone on his balcony watching the stars once more when he saw a bright light begin to descend. At first he thought it was a shooting star, but as the light came closer and became so blinding he had to throw his arm in front of his eyes, he knew that couldn’t be it. Slowly the light began to fade and he lowered his arm to find a glowing young man standing in front of him. 

“Who are you?” The prince demanded in shock.

The star smiled at him so brightly, his eyes were barely visible, “I’m your star.” He answered simply “I’m here to grant your wish.”

“But- but you’re a man, not a star.” The prince stumbled over his words looking back and forth from the sky and back to the figure stood before him.

“Same thing, no?” The star asked him, eyes filled with laughter and the prince’s confusion. “You saw me come down, you know it’s the truth.”

As the prince stood there still in shock, the star started to look around when he glanced up at the sky. “I always wondered how we must look like from down here. I guess you can’t see us very well, can you.” He nodded in understanding, turning to look back at the prince who still seemed to be trying to process everything.

“Oh come on, we don’t have all night- well I mean we do, but I only get one night, so I want to experience what it’s like to live on this side of the sky.” The star said with an exaggerated stretch.

“Okay,” the prince swallowed, “okay, let’s say I believe all this and that it’s not a dream- ouch!” the prince stepped back, rubbing his arm.

“What? It’s what you do down here when someone thinks they’re dreaming, don’t you?” The star asked innocently glancing from his fingers back to the prince’s arm.

“Yes, but just- okay fine we’ve established this is real, so how does this work? You just grant me my wish?” 

“Sort of, first I need to figure out how.” The star shrugged sheepishly.

“So you came down not knowing how you were going to grant me my wish.” The prince deadpanned.

“I was excited to come down.” The star blushed.

The prince sighed and nodded, “where should we start then?”

“Show me your kingdom.” The star glowed the slightest bit brighter.

“But if you were watching me, doesn’t that mean you’ve seen it all?”

“Sure, I’ve seen it all but I want to experience it.”

“Alright, what do you want to see first?”

“I want to ride the horses, I want to know what it’s like to feel like flying.” The star’s glow grew brighter and more beautiful at his excitement and the prince had to avert his eyes for a moment.

“Together they rode through half the night, the cool night never once bothering the prince in the warm glow of the star beside him. Despite his earlier shock, the prince found himself enjoying seeing his kingdom through the eyes of the star. It felt like he was experiencing everything for the first time himself. He shared stories of his adventures and his own search of trying to feel complete. And for the first time sharing his story, the prince felt like someone truly understood him.

“As the night went on, the star grew agitated at not being able to figure out how to help the prince. But when the orange glow started to rise from the horizon, the star turned to the prince suddenly with a bright smile. “I know how to grant your wish,” he said and brought his hands over his own heart. His hands came away with an almost blinding glow and he placed his hands over the prince’s heart. The prince gasped as a warmth pulsed through his entire being.

“There,” the star smiled brightly, stepping back. “That’s how you’ll find her.” 

“Who?” The prince looked to him confused.

“The one who will make you feel whole. Your soulmate. When you find her, you will both let out a bright glow, so you will know where your forever lies.” The star said as the prince’s heart let out one final pulsing glow before growing dim.

“I need to leave now,” the star smiled watching the brightening horizon. “Thank you, for showing me this side of the sky. I won’t ever forget this night.” 

“The two bid one another a teary farewell. But the prince never forgot the star or his gift. He would still spend his nights looking at the sky, but now it was to remember his friend. Until one day when he was visiting one of the neighbouring kingdoms and shook the hand of a beautiful princess. It was when he saw the woman in front of him pulse with a bright light right where he touched her, that he knew he had found his forever. That he finally felt whole.”

Isak did love the story, but never the ending. What he couldn’t understand was why it was the princess who got the prince, not the star who had given a part of himself to help make the prince whole. This time he decided to voice his concerns to his mother.

His mother smiled down at him kindly, “because princes and stars don’t belong together, princes and princesses do.”

“And one day,” his mother whispered into his hair, “you’ll find your princess too and you’ll glow together.”

The sentiment didn’t exactly sit well with Isak, but he knew what she meant. Boys don’t belong together. However, for Isak it didn’t mean that he would now stop believing that Jonas carried the other half of his soul, instead he decided to keep that part to himself. So Isak simply smiled at his mother and for the first time in his ten years decided to hide away part of who he was.

By the time Isak turned thirteen, there were two new additions to his circle of friends which previously consisted of only Jonas and now included Mahdi and Magnus. 

They were sitting together in their History of Soulmates class passing around one of Mahdi’s notebooks each boy adding to the doodles on the page as it came their way. Isak had just finished his addition of a stick man hanging when a topic caught his ear as he passed the book back to Magnus.

“You’ll only get your soulmark glow when your soulmate touches you skin to skin.” The teacher said out loud as he wrote the words on the board.

“But what if you get your glow, but it’s with the wrong person?” A girl asked, her hand raised.

“What do you mean?” Their teacher looked confused at the question.

“Well, what if someone touches you by accident and you start to glow, but they’re not your soulmate.”

“Ah, well that’s not quite how soulmarks work, they don’t come alive every time someone touches you, but only after your soulmate touches you for the first time.”

“But why can’t we get our soulmarks now?” A boy in the front row questioned.

“That’s because your body still needs to grow. They don’t typically start until you’re at least fourteen. There are even instances of soulmates growing up together, but never knowing they were soulmates until they finally get their glow once they’re older. But don’t worry, by the time you’re twenty-one, all of you should have your marks already” The teacher droned on and Isak stopped listening. Because he wasn’t one of those people who was unaware he was growing up alongside his soulmate. No, Isak knew. And he would patiently wait until they were old enough to get their soulmarks together.

“Ready to learn to skateboard?” Jonas teased Isak. School had just come to an end for the day and the group of four boys were headed to the skate park after Jonas had finally convinced Isak to give skateboarding a try. This after months of being nagged. Usually he had no problem just waving it away when Jonas teased, but something about Mahdi and Magnus also joining in made him feel like suddenly he had something to prove. That he was still Jonas’s number one best friend. It’s not that he didn’t like the other two, quite the opposite. But with all the change happening in his life, his parents arguing more and more, and now the addition of two new people to spend time with, he just needed to know that he did still come first for someone.

Which is exactly how Isak ended up on his back for the fifth time, his skateboard rolling along the thankfully empty park. 

However, it was on his sixth try that he almost fell face first onto the hard ground. Saved just in time only because Jonas, seeing him wobble again came running before he could topple over and seriously injuring himself.

Wrapped in Jonas’s arms, Isak could finally breathe, the death trap on wheels quietly rolling along beside him.

“I’ve got you, Isak” Jonas grinned after the boy straightened before wrapping an arm around Isak’s shoulders. It was true, Jonas was always there for him no matter what. A warm feeling spread through Isak’s body at the thought and in that moment Isak was certain the feeling would last forever.

But the fall after his fifteenth birthday, that illusion was shattered, It happened their first day back in school. Isak had been so utterly happy just to be out of the house again. Away from his parents’ constant fighting which Isak would inevitably get blamed for by his mother later when things had died down. 

It was the one thing about his summer that he hadn’t shared with Jonas. At first it was because he didn’t have a chance to, then it was because he grew embarrassed of how his parents, who were soulmates, were acting. They had never fought like that before and for the longest time Isak didn’t think it was even possible for soulmates to act that hostile towards one another. It made him wonder if maybe he was the cause for it after all.

“Isak, you listening to me?” Jonas asked.

“Sorry, yes I am, what’s up?” Isak asked trying to shake his previous thoughts from his head.

“I was asking if you’re up for the skate park after school. Magnus and Mahdi are game.” Jonas said resting his elbow on Isak’s shoulder.

“Sure,” Isak nodded, unsuccessful in clearing his mind. 

“What’s with the talkative mood today?” Jonas’s eyes searched his face, eyebrows drawing together in concern.

“Didn’t get much sleep,” Isak shrugged, “don’t worry about it. Seriously, it’s all good.”

“Okay, if you say so,” though it didn’t look like Jonas fully believed him but he let the matter go. Isak knew Jonas would wait until he was ready to talk about whatever was plaguing him, never one to push Isak.

They stood out there chatting about all the things they were going to accomplish in the year, Jonas aiming for top grades.

“Plus that bigspin’s mine.” Jonas continued, nodding his determination.

“Just please don’t mess your knee up again,” Isak rolled his eyes. “You’re fucking heavy and the skate park isn’t that close to your place. Carrying you last time sucked.”

“Yeah but you still did it,” Jonas grinned, “my knight in shining armour.” He laughed barely dodging the kick Isak was aiming at his shins.

The bell rang before Isak could muster out a retort and they headed into the building instead. 

It was between second and third period that his world fell apart and Isak couldn’t blame anyone but himself. Although he knew deep down that there was no stopping it. Even if it hadn’t happened in that moment exactly, there would have been countless other moments during their high school years.

“Ready?” Jonas asked leaning against the locker next to Isak’s, books already in hand.

“Yep,” Isak nodded reaching for his own set of books for their shared English class and heading towards the stairwell together.

He was busy imagining what the year would hold for him and Jonas, planning out all the late night study sessions they would have and wondering if they were going to go away to Jonas’s parents cabin again during the next break. What he should have been doing is paying attention to his surroundings, because next thing he knew he was crashing into another body, books going everywhere. 

“Ow,” the female voice complained and his eyes snapped up to see a pretty girl with long brown hair.

“Sorry!” Isak exclaimed, “I should have been paying attention.”

The girl sighed “yeah, but I wasn’t exactly paying attention either, I was busy trying to find this stupid English class.” she grumbled before crouching down to start picking her books up when someone passing by knocked their leg into her and sent her backwards onto her rear while Jonas and Isak watched in shock.

“Sorry!” the voice of the perpetrator called, already halfway down the hall.

“Fuck, I really hate this school,” she cursed.

“Here,” Jonas rushed forwards, holding out his hand while Isak bent down to help her gather books.

But the moment Jonas’s hand touched hers, a dull glow began emitting from both their hands.

Shocked, the two continued to look at each other while Isak was busy looking back and forth between the both of them, trying to discern if what he was seeing was real. 

No. No, this couldn’t be it. There had to be a mistake. Jonas was his soulmate, not hers.

While his mind was racing, his best friend and the girl couldn’t stop grinning at each other. A few people walking past cheered when they noticed the glow while others whistled. 

“First soulmate couple of the year!” Someone called in celebration far away. Or it wasn’t far away, it was right next to him and it was Isak who felt like he was miles away.

“I’m Jonas”

“Eva”

They were nervous, awkward around each other even until Jonas turned to Isak who was holding her books and Isak had to plaster a smile on his face. He had to be happy. His best friend just found his soulmate, he should be happy for him. 

“Hey, I think we’re in the same class,” Jonas said taking the books and handing them back to the girl. Eva.

“Oh good, then can I walk with you? I’m already lost.” She said when the bell rang “and now we’re late too,” she sighed.

“Of course,” Jonas smiled brightly, sneaking glances to their glowing hands from time to time.

“Isak, you coming?” Jonas asked pausing and all Isak could do was nod.

And after that it was Jonas and Eva who became inseparable, not Isak and Jonas. That’s not to say that Jonas didn’t still make time for him, but where they had been Jonas and Isak before, now they were Jonas, Eva, and Isak. And while Isak tried his very best to be happy for the two of them, his heart ached whenever he saw them together sharing in a happiness that Isak was beginning to wonder if he would also get the chance to experience.

So Isak did the only thing he could and focused on school. Between Jonas being preoccupied with Eva and the war that raged on back at home, he didn’t have anywhere else to go. So instead he spent his free time at the school’s library studying. And when it closed for the day he would take the train to the university. Specifically to the science library where he would remain until it also closed at 22.00. His small size did him no favours and drew the eyes of the librarians every time he entered. But he remained polite, shooting them a small smile and finding his way to a table near the windows and out of the way of everyone but still in the librarian’s line of sight and they never said anything. 

After finishing his school work and studying for next week’s test, he would seek out a book that interested him. The topics would vary depending on what he felt like reading at the time. It seemed luck was on his side and the book he was reading was usually on the shelf waiting for him again the next day or the day after. On days when it was checked out, he would move on to a different one until the previous one was available once more. Sometimes it would be a book on chemistry, other times biology. Sometimes even physics or engineering. 

The first time he picked one of the texts up he almost didn’t finish the first chapter, growing frustrated with the increasing number of words he didn’t understand. But he only let himself feel that way for a few minutes before opening his school laptop and connecting it to his phone’s data, not being able to get on the university’s wireless without an ID, and began searching the words one by one. 

His countless hours of hard work soon paid off as he rose to the top in all of his classes and he stayed there. The science library became somewhat of a sanctuary for him and soon he went there directly after school, foregoing his trip to his schools library completely. 

But the ache he felt in his heart didn’t leave him. Instead he just drowned it out the same way he did with the shouting between his parents late into the night. However, Isak was certain that if he worked just a little bit harder, he could overcome and forget the pain being caused on both fronts. The problem was that once he adapted the mindset, it followed him into adulthood and he couldn’t let it go.

-

“Film studies, seriously?” Isak shoots Mahdi and Jonas a skeptical look.

“You were the one complaining that we don’t see each other enough these days.” Jonas says through a mouth full of sandwich.

“Dude,” Isak grimaces, shoving a napkin his way.

“Hey, I’ve got all of ten minutes before poli sci. So if your needy ass wants to hang out, you’re just going to have to deal.” Jonas shoots back still accepting the tissue.

“I’m not needy.” Isak huffs.

“Well…” Mahdi trails off.

“Just for that, I’m not buying beer the next time we all hang out. Whenever that may be.” Isak glares.

“You haven’t exactly bought beer the last two times we’ve hung out.” Jonas shrugs.

“That’s a lie, I sponsored both you and Magnus the time before last.”

“Alright fine, but that was, what, three months ago? Shouldn’t even count.”

“Not my fault you guys are too busy to hang out together.” Isak picks at the bun he had purchased at the bakery earlier before putting it back down, disinterested.

“You’re not any less busy,” Jonas responds before washing his food down with a sip of water.

“Which brings us to my original point,” Mahdi cuts in. “Film studies.”

“Yeah, but really?” Isak pulls a face, “There wasn’t an arts and crafts class you could have signed us up for? At least there I could make some killer snowflakes or make a paper mache model of your head.”

“I’m sure if we knew a film studies major, they’d kick your ass for that comment.” Jonas stands, packing up his books.

“Probably, but we don’t, so we’ll never know.” 

Jonas shoots him a look.

“I just don’t want to spend my time writing essays on camera angles and lighting.” Isak defends. He has enough on his plate between trying to keep up a perfect GPA and spending what little remaining free time he has working as a research assistant in his department.

“Well you’re doing it. You wanted us to hang out more often, so that’s my solution.” Mahdi says. Sure, Isak may have complained about it once or twice, or maybe a few more times than that, but that shouldn’t mean he should now be punished for it. Although spending more time with his friends would be a nice change of pace, even if that meant having to write three pages on why a movie is shot in that specific colour tone.

“Fine,” Isak grumbles. 

“Perfect, now that that’s solved, we can go back to bitching about all the shit we gotta go.” Mahdi leaned back in his chair looking satisfied.

“You two go ahead, I have three minutes to get to the other side of the building.” Jonas turns to leave but comes face to face with a breathless Magnus instead.

“Where are you headed?” Magnus pants.

“Class, move.”

“That’s not important right now,” Magnus says before pulling up his shirt.

“What the fuck!”

“What’s wrong with you?”

But while Jonas and Mahdi where complaining, Isak was busy staring at the soft glow radiating from the middle of Magnus’s torso.

“You’ve got your soulmark,” he whispered drawing the attention of the other two boys.

“Wait, how did you get a mark on your bare chest in the middle of the university?” Mahdi asked confused.

“I was leaving the gym.”

“Why were you shirtless on your way out of the gym though?” 

“I was in a rush- look that’s not what’s important. What’s important is I just met her, I met my soulmate.” Magnus grins unbelievably wide.

“That’s great man, so who is she?” Jonas asks settling his bag back down on the table seemingly deciding class could wait in favor for sharing in the joy with his friend.

“What?” 

“Her name?”

Jonas and Isak share a look at Magnus’s silence.

“Dude, don’t tell me you just left her there.” Mahdi groans.

“Well I wanted to tell you guys!” Magnus defends.

“Are you telling me, you barrelled into some poor unsuspecting girl while shirtless, but the moment you two started to glow, you bolted?” Jonas asks incredulously.

“Shit.” Magnus groans dropping into one of the chairs.

“Oh man,” Jonas laughed shaking his head. “I almost can’t believe you did that, but at the same time I’m not even surprised. Well good luck finding her again, I have to get going. Hopefully I can just sneak into the back row without anyone noticing.” Jonas said in farewell.

“She’s the prettiest woman in this university so it’ll be quite easy.” Magnus shouted after him drawing the attention of a few of the surrounding students.

“Yeah I gotta get going too,” Mahdi says standing up, bag in hand. “Need to get some last minute cramming done before this quiz, congrats Magnus, we should go drinking tonight to celebrate. Text the group chat when you guys sort out the details,” waving his phone in the air before taking off.

“You’re quiet.” Magnus says softly, facing Isak who smiles in return.

“Congratulations, I’m happy for you. Seriously.” Isak nods, emphasizing his sincerity.

“Thanks,” Magnus grins, a blush creeping across his cheeks before the concern returns to his eyes. “Do you want to talk?” Magnus offers.

“Nah, there’s nothing to worry about.” Isak assures him “by the way, what are you still doing here? Don’t you have the prettiest woman at this university to find?” 

Magnus shrugs, “she’s my soulmate so I’m certain I’ll find her again. But you’re my friend and I think right now you need me more.”

The two of them had formed their own bond the past two years. While Jonas found his soulmate the first year of high school, Mahdi had found his the first day of University. However, Magnus and Isak hadn’t been as lucky and would end up spending time together, just the two of them when they could. Even though they never said it out loud, it was their way of telling the other that they would be okay and that one day soon they would meet their other halves.

“I’m alright,” Isak reassures him. “Magnus stop worrying, I’m not going to break down all of a sudden. I’m happy for you. I’ve stopped waiting a long ago time already.”

Magnus shakes his head, “I really think you should wait just a little bit longer. Your soulmate is out there, I just know it. They have to be. Isak, you’re too amazing of a person that I don’t think there’s any possible scenario where you don’t find them.”

While the words bring warmth to Isak’s heart, the thing is, his twenty second birthday had already come and gone, and he has yet to meet his soulmate. That is if he even has one. And the answer to that started to become clearer with each passing year.

It’s not that he thought there is anything wrong with not having one. It’s rare, but it happens. There is just something about living alone in a world filled with soulmates. It’s lonely. Even surrounded by the best group of friends possible, people better than what he thinks he deserves. He feels like that prince from the childhood stories his mother used to tell him, except he knows there was no princess waiting for him.

“Yeah, maybe,” he says instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thanks so much for your lovely comments <3 they really kept me going.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> Also I pulled an all nighter on this one so I hope it's at least somewhat coherent

It’s 23.30 by the time Isak finally falls face first on his bed and into the soft pillow. He revels in the feel of his familiar mattress forming to his body, his sock clad feet dangling off the end. But once the groan he lets out, which bounces off his still bare walls finally fades away, he’s met with only silence. Not the silence of Eskild’s apartment where he could still hear the muffled hum of the fridge all the way down the hall in his room, or the ticking of the kitchen clock if he focused hard enough, or the occasional murmur of Eskild and his soulmate, Marcus, in the living room. No, this silence is absolute and he still can’t get used to it.

It had now been three months since he moved out into a place of his own and as loathe as he is to admit it, Isak hates it for the most part. Sure there may be the upside of Eskild no longer nagging him to clean his room and to hang up his clean clothes instead of just dumping them on the floor fresh from the laundry. But all that resulted in was a messy room where he couldn’t differentiate between his clean and dirty clothes anymore causing him to have to launder everything all over again.

He first met Eskild early one autumn night in his first year at Nissen, just a week after Jonas had met Eva, on the night his mother first raised her hand to him. He had met him by accident after spotting the tell tale sign of a rainbow flag hanging in the window of a bar. Isak knew what it symbolized, not because he observed the two men kissing next to the entrance they had come out of earlier, but because it had come up in their Soulmate Health class back in middle grade still. That soulmate paring wasn’t limited to any specific genders. It was the one thing he was never quite able to figure out, why everyone around him seemed so accepting, while his mother, the one person he should be able to feel safe with, saw it as such a wrongdoing.

Isak considered the irony of it all, how her earlier ramblings of sins of the flesh resulted in him ending up there of all places.

Still out of breath after having ran all the way from his house just moments before, he approached the bar slowly, telling himself he was only going inside to warm up for a moment as he hadn’t stopped to even grab his jacket. He barely paused long enough to grab his shoes which he didn’t put on until he was all the way down the street from his house.

Surprisingly there was no one at the door to check his ID. Whether it was standard procedure or just his luck, he didn’t know. But he wasn’t about to wait long enough to find out so he made his way down the stairs leading towards the bar. Isak didn’t know what he was expecting, but besides a few posters of a couple of people he didn’t recognize, some in drag and some not, hanging on the wall to his immediate left above a bunch of flyers advertising for upcoming events, the bar looked...well just like any bar he imagined would look.

He stood beside the entrance taking it all in, not sure what to do from there. He made it inside and now what? He hadn’t thought that far. The place wasn’t packed, with only a couple of men sitting at the bar, a group of young men sitting around two tables pushed together at the back of the place laughing and exchanging stories, and two women sitting at a table near him, heads bowed in a serious seeming conversation. His heartbeat sped up as panic built within him, not knowing what to do next. He didn’t even have his wallet on him, not that he thought he had a chance of getting served. Looking back to the bar, his eyes met those of the young bartender who eyed him with an open curiosity, his lips, however, set in a firm line. The man seemed to be immediately picking up on the fact that Isak had no business being there, his size doing him no favors in convincing him otherwise. Feeling awkward and out of place Isak was just about to turn around and head back up the stairs when one of the two men he spotted outside earlier came barrelling through, arms around each other, one of them bumping into Isak in passing.

“Sorry love,” the man called out in a british accent, barely glancing back to make sure Isak was okay.

When Isak looked back up he saw the bartender still eyeing him, but this time with concern and it felt like it was the first time in weeks that he could remember someone else showing interest in his well being. Isak looked at the open doorway and then back at the empty bar stool. What was the worst that would happen, he’d be told to leave? But at the same time he had nowhere else to go in that moment. Jonas hadn’t responded to his texts and he couldn’t fathom going home in that moment either. With his mind made up, he approached the bar instead.

The bartender had moved on to cleaning the counter, but Isak could still feel his eyes on him as he hoisted himself up onto the seat. A man three seats down from him looked up for a moment, eyeing Isak up and down, glancing between him and the bartender looking confused before giving a shrug and returning back to his drink.

It took a few minutes before the bartender fully acknowledged his presence and came to a stop in front of him.

“That’s a nasty looking bruise you’ve got there,” he said with a nod towards Isak’s face, “got into a bar fight?” He joked.

“Uhh not quite,” Isak mumbled. The right side of his face had been numb before, but feeling seemed to be slowly returning if the slight stinging was anything to go by. He ran a tongue over his bottom lip, the metallic taste making him flinch.

“Hold on,” the bartender said walking to the other side of the bar to grab a cloth from a neatly folded stack and scooping some ice into it.

“Here,” he held out the makeshift ice pack which Isak gratefully accepted, wincing when he held it against his face. The other man seemed to consider him for a moment, a frown now playing on his lips. He looked like he was about to say something when he just shook his head before returning to cleaning glasses and occasionally refilling the drinks for the men quietly sitting along the bar.

Isak’s eyes followed him closely, not having much else to occupy himself with, taking in his tall frame and the short cropped strawberry blonde hair. He wasn’t unfriendly to Isak, but he seemed wary of him. However he also hadn’t kicked him out yet so maybe he was going to just let him be. Maybe by the time the place closed for the night, Isak would hear back from Jonas and he could spend the rest of the night at his place. Although he dreaded having to explain the bruise and his reason for coming over so suddenly, he looked forward to falling asleep next to his best friend where he could feel safe, knowing the demons haunting his mother couldn’t reach him there. But with each minute that ticked by, getting a response seemed less and less likely.

A glass slid in front of him, interrupting his thoughts. A coke by the looks of it.

“O-oh, I don’t-I don’t have-” Isak’s cheeks grew red as he couldn’t seem to get the words out.

“Don’t worry kid, it’s on the house.” The man said turning back to his patrons.

“Thanks,” Isak whispered barely loud enough to hear. Confusion washed over him at the stranger’s kindness and he felt tears begin to prickle at the back of his eyes. The night’s events and the late hour catching up with him all at once. He sniffled a couple of times, roughly wiping at his eyes using the sleeves of his hoodie. No, he wouldn’t cry. Not here. Except the thought sent him spiraling, because if not here, then where. Where did Isak have that he could just break down? His breaths came in small gasps, making the stinging of his tears that much worse.

He thought he was going to lose it then and there until the voice of the bartender broke through.

“Hey, whatever it is, it’ll be alright,” he said placing a warm hand over Isak’s and giving it a light squeeze, silently holding on until Isak finally did get his breathing under control.

“I don’t know if it will be though,” he whispered wetly. He just wanted somewhere he could be himself. He was tired of the running and the hiding of his own self to all of those around him.

The man put his forearms down on the counter in front of him to come face to face with Isak.

“I’ve been there, kid. Trust me, this isn’t it. It may feel like your whole world, but there’s just so much more out there waiting for you.” He looked like he wanted to say more but one of the men next to Isak started vying for his attention for a refill and he stepped back.

It sounded like he was talking Isak off a ledge, or more likely trying to help guide his way. And considering how utterly lost Isak was feeling, any advice was welcome, but he didn’t know what to do with it. How could Isak focus on the possibility of a brighter future when his right now was falling apart? The problem was he didn’t even know what he needed. Guidance maybe, someone there with him showing him the way. Letting him know he wasn’t as alone as he felt that very moment.

“Last call!” The bartender shouted after long enough for Isak to finish his drink causing Isak to glance at his phone to find it was already 23.30 and there was no notification of a new message. That left thirty minutes for him to figure out what he was going to do. He did always have the option of returning home, but he balked at the thought, anxiety rushing through him all over again.

“Eskild, beautiful, can we get three beers please?” A voice asked to his left. He turned to see one of the guys he had seen outside earlier, not the one who had bumped into him.

“Only because you asked so nicely.” The bartender, presumably named Eskild, shot the man a genuine smile.

“Hey you deserve to be treated right.” The man shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips.

“I’d quit it there before your date starts thinking you’re over here getting too friendly.” Eskild grinned back.

The man glanced behind him and then back, “that’s just a fling, we both know I’ve only got eyes for one man.”

“Sorry, but I’ve told you, I’m busy waiting for mr. Right.” Eskild laughed.

“And what if he’s been right in front of you all this time?” The man teases with a pout.

“Well wouldn’t that just be a shame.” Eskild slid the three bottles across the counter and pulled his hands back.

“It sure would.” The man gave him a long look before his smile returned. “Thanks, Eskild.” He called accepting the bottles and walking back to his table.

“Any time Marcel.” Eskild nodded and looked at Isak who had been closely following the flirtatious exchange and shot him a smile.

Isak’s attention was once more grabbed by the men around him slowly start to leave and the panic of having nowhere to go overtook him all over again.

“Do you have a place to stay?” the bartender suddenly asked, still standing in front of Isak.

When Isak didn’t answer, he nodded slowly, the silence being answer enough. “I need to finish here and close up, just don’t go anywhere, alright?” he asked, concern in his eyes.

Not having anywhere else to be anyways, Isak nodded. If he could remain indoors and out of the cool night for a bit longer, he was going to jump on the opportunity.

It was half past midnight by the time the two of them were standing in front of the bar, a chill running over Isak’s body as the wind picked up.

“Look kid-”

“Isak. My name is Isak.”

“Okay, look Isak, I can’t very well in good conscience let you wander the streets on your own all night.”

Isak paused, not understanding why this man- Eskild would continue to be so kind to him. But Eskild took his hesitation to mean something else.

“I promise I’m not trying anything, I’m just offering you my couch so you have somewhere warm to sleep tonight. Here, why don’t you send someone a text letting them know you’re staying with Eskild Tryggvason and here’s my address and phone number.”

Isak glanced at him and began typing out a message on his phone. Realizing as his thumb hovered over the send button that there was no one he could really send it to, no one he wanted to explain tonight to. Making up his mind, he instead saved the message in his drafts and pocketed the phone again, letting Eskild guide the way.

\--

Isak’s alarm clock blares obnoxiously loud barely six hours after he fell asleep the night before.

“No,” he whines, reaching over to slide his thumb across his phone screen to turn it off. rolling onto his back with a heavy sigh when his phone starts ringing again.

Bleary eyed he tries to open his eyes to see who it is only to be blinded by the brightness of the screen.

“Hello?” He lets out, voice cracking.

_“Isak, he won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do.”_

“Eskild? Who won’t stop crying?”

_“Simon! The baby?? Who else would I be calling you about?”_

“I dunno, there’s three of you living in that apartment now.”

_“Why would I call you to tell you Marcel is crying?”_

“Why would you call me to tell me your baby is crying? What do you want me to do about it?”

_“Well that’s not very helpful. I was being considerate and waiting until after your alarm clock went off to call, so you were already awake.”_

“Eskild, it’s barely six in the morning. I will drive over there and kick your ass if you don’t get to the point, I swear to god.”

_“Okay fine, fine, Jeez you used to be much more pleasant in the mornings when you still lived with us.”_

“That was never the case.”

_“Okay maybe not.”_

“Did you seriously call me without a legitimate reason?”

_“Since when do I need a reason? You’re like my illegitimate son, I should get to call you whenever. But seriously, you have your presentation at 8 this morning and I wanted to make sure you didn’t sleep through your alarm.”_

“I’m not even going to start on you calling me your illegitimate son.”

_“Why? I would totally acknowledge you as mine in polite society.”_

“Ugh. So Simon wasn’t up crying?”

_“Oh no, he was but Marcel had a handle on it. And I thought I’d give you a call.”_

“You really miss me don’t you.”

_“I just did a nice thing for you, shithead, be nice.”_

“Alright, alright and now I’m wide awake so consider me grateful.”

_“See, that wasn’t so hard.”_

“Well I’ll go and get ready then before I end up being late anyway. Thanks, Eskild.”

_“Wait!”_

“Hmm?”

_“Stop by for dinner this Friday. It’s been over a month since we’ve seen you last.”_

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have some time alone with Marcel? I can babysit if you need.”

_“No we want to see you. Come on, Marcel is still putting out an extra place setting for you at breakfast half the time.”_

“I never eat breakfast though.”

_“Exactly!”_

“You’re really going through it, huh?”

_“Like you wouldn’t believe.”_

“Then sure, I’ll grace the three of you with my presence.”

_“Great! And don’t let the fact that we miss you go to your head. You’re still a pain in the ass most of the time.”_

“Bye Eskild.” 

_“See you Friday.”_

 

By the time lunch rolls around, Isak is ready to call it a day. Which he would have been able to with his original schedule if his friends hadn’t talked him into joining the film studies class inconveniently scheduled for 14.00. Meaning he still has two hours to kill, which he opts to spend in the chem lab.

“Isak!” Linn says in greeting when he enters the lab, “you’re not scheduled today, are you?”

“Nah, just had some time to kill. Figured I’d double check a couple of reports before submitting them.”

Linn arches a brow, “if they’re the ones from Monday, I already went over them and you’re good to go on those. Great job by the way.” The grad student sends him a bright smile.

“Oh, thanks.”Isak nods at a loss as to what to do next.

“Hey if you’ve got some time, wanna help me catalogue these test samples?”

“Sure,” Isak immediately brightens at the opportunity to learn a new task.

“Cool, grab your gear and get over here.”

Together they spend the better part of an hour with Linn dictating and Isak taking notes as they go over each sample. They’re so absorbed in their work that they don’t hear when Felix, a fourth year student, joins them in the lab.

”Hey guys,” he calls out almost causing Linn to almost drop the slide in her hands.

“Announce yourself before scaring people like that,” she scolds.

“That was me announcing myself,” he looks at her confused and then to Isak who shrugs. His attention is brought right back to Linn when she continues to dictate and starts typing away at the laptop.

“What are you guys doing?” Felix asks taking the empty seat next to Isak.

“Cataloging samples. Slide C451- Sorry C457,” Linn continues.

“Want some help?”

“I’ve actually got class in a few minutes, wanna take over for me?” Isak asks sliding Linn’s laptop over.

“Oh. Yeah sure I can do that,” the fourth year nods. “I heard Magnus got his soulmark.” He continues, ignoring Linn’s next set of notes.

“Yeah he did,” Isak shuffles his feet slightly, “I guess it’s pretty big news, huh.”

Typically soulmarks weren’t big news, everyone got them. Almost everyone, Isak mentally corrects himself.

“Well yeah, the guy is twenty one, he practically slid in last minute, getting his mark before remaining unmarked forever.”

“But he has a soulmate, he always would have had one, they just wouldn’t have met each other yet.” Isak corrects feeling wary of the topic.

“Sure, but I mean cross that line into twenty two and everyone is automatically assume you’re unmarked. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” He hastily adds.

“It’s not like anyone would have known whether he had a mark if it hadn’t happened on campus.” Isak shrugs weakly.

“For the average person maybe,” Felix chuckles. “But Magnus was never quiet about the fact that he hadn’t found his soulmate yet.”

“Hmm.” Isak tries to brush the topic off. Not in the mood to talk about soulmarks or the lack of one. He hadn’t advertised the fact that he didn’t have a soulmate and he would like to keep it that way.

It’s not that it’s unheard of people not having soulmates, it just isn’t all that common. Sure people still manage to lead fulfilling and functioning lives with others. But after spending his entire youth wishing for one, Isak would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt to have his twenty second birthday come and go and be left facing the harsh truth of it. He did not have a soulmate out there.

“Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, I mean congrats to Magnus, but there’s this party this Friday, you and your friends are invited. It’s on campus.”

“I’ve got a family dinner that day, I don’t think I can make it.” It isn’t unusual for Felix to invite him and the rest of the guys. Sometimes they would go, other times they would pass it up for other responsibilities.

“Then swing by afterwards.”

“I dunno, the dinners go pretty late usually. But I can let the rest of the guys know, if that’s okay?”

 “Yeah sure.” He sees Felix’s shoulders slump in response, but can’t figure out why. If it’s at Isak not being there, well it’s not like Isak ever sees him whenever he does attend a party. The few times he’s tried to track him down to thank him for the invite, he would be busy hooking up with someone already.

“Are you two going to keep chatting or help me finish this up,” Linn butts in pointing at the slides sitting in front of her,

“Sorry,” Isak quickly apologizes and grabs his bag. “I have to get going anyways.” he says after a quick glance at his phone, giving them a quick wave and stepping into the hallway.

Magnus is already seated and waving Isak over when he arrives despite being ten minutes early. For most students that would be considered on time, but when it came to Magnus, he’s much more likely to show up ten minutes late than early in anything.

But if it means that Isak gets a middle row seat next to him, just out of the way enough to hopefully never cause the professor to call on him, then he isn’t about to question this turn of events.

“I can’t believe Mahdi made us take this.” Isak grumbles as he flips through the course outline, nose scrunching at the mention of a term project for 25% of their grade.

“Fuck,” he whispers under his breath.

“Oh yeah, I suggested that,” Magnus says brightly.

“Why?” Isak asks shocked.

“A friend of mine was going to take the class as an extra elective and I figured since he’s a films major, we could probably ace the class with his help.”

“You’ve got friends outside of the three of us?” Isak sidetracked by the chance to tease his friend,

“Don’t worry, you’ll always stay number one in my heart.” Magnus dramatically lets out, grasping the neck of his shirt with both his fists.

“I fucking better.” Isak grins before his face snaps back to his usual demeanor.

“But seriously, I can tell this class is already going to suck.” Isak sighs leaning back in his chair and soon enough the class begins to fill.

“Now Isak, you’ve just got to keep an open mind and the universe will make sure everything works out the way it needs to.”

“What’s with this zen shit? Is this because of your soulmark?” Isak asks skeptically at the sudden change in his friend.

Magnus smiles sheepishly, “I’m hoping if I stay positive, I’ll find her again sooner rather than later.”

Isak scoffs, “I know how you can track her down easily.”

Magnus brightens and Isak can’t help but smirk.

“Just ask for the girl that had to acid wash her hand after touching your bare ass.” He laughs out, before groaning from being on the receiving end of a smack to the stomach.

Magnus says something in return but Isak can no longer hear him because his attention is captured by a tall young man entering the room and he swears time slows to a crawl. His eyes follow the newcomer only to be left breathless when he stops in front of the window, the afternoon sun illuminating him, making him look ethereal. But it’s nothing compared to when Isak sees him smile so wide, his eyes become barely visible.

He’s knocked back into reality, time once again moving at regular speed with a kick to his chair from the person next to him and as he turns to Magnus, he’s certain that he imagined the last few seconds.

“What the hell, you’re ignoring me now?”

“No, I was-” Isak trails off. Was what? Looking at an angel? The most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life with a smile brighter than the sun itself?

He’s saved from having to answer when Magnus’s attention lands on someone else and he waves to someone behind Isak who turns back to the window only to find the man now gone. Of course he was only imagining it. No one could be that perfect.

Letting out a sigh he turns back to the front of the class to find the tall angel directly in front of him talking to Magnus.

“This is my friend, Isak, by the way,” Magnus introduces him.

“Hi,” the older man points his smile at Isak whose mind is simultaneously racing and completely blank, something he never thought was possible.

“I’m Even,” he says, giving a small wave with his free hand as both his arms are wrapped around a stack of books.

Isak swallows, “I’m Isak,” ignoring the fact that Magnus had already given his name.

However, before the conversation can go any further, their professor walks in ready to start the lecture and Even gives them both one more wave and finds his seat towards the front of the class.

Not long after, Mahdi and Jonas are sneaking into the classroom and dropping into their seats next to Isak and Magnus.

“What’s wrong with him?” Jonas whispers to Magnus, thumb pointed at Isak who’s still staring at Even’s back in confused silence, not acknowledging the other two.

Magnus only shrugs in return, shushing him before he can ask anything else, pointing at the slides projected against the wall of the front of the class to indicate he should pay attention there instead.

Isak barely hears what their professor has to say, because he’s busy trying to get a handle on his reaction to the other man. He’s well aware of what attraction feels like and he’s felt it for plenty of men especially in the last two years. But it has never been like this, never before had he felt a warmth spreading over his entire being just at the thought of another man’s smile and an urge to smile back just as widely. Or felt an intense curiosity overcome him, wanting to know everything there is to know about another person.

At some point the other man must have felt his stare because he turns around and blesses Isak with another one of his smiles. This time toned down, more curious. But it’s too brief for Isak’s liking.

He doesn’t snap out of his trance until class is over and half the students have left, including Even, and he’s left answering his friends’ questioning glances.

 

Eva

What are you doing right now?

Studying for my inorganic chem test  
Wanna help? 

Only if you help me on my case analysis for Tort law

Hard pass

That’s what I thought  
You got some time for coffee Saturday?

For you? Always

Aw I knew I loved you for a reason  
The usual place it noon?

There are countless reasons to love me  
And sure  
Is everything alright?

You’re making it sound like I only reach out to you  
when there’s something wrong

Not at all  
You also reach out to me when you’ve  
One-upped someone in your class

These bitches deserve my bragging  
I don’t bust my ass for nothing  
I want the recognition I’m owed

Preach, sister

Don’t make me come over there  
And beat your ass

Kinky  
I like it

I swear to god

Seriously though  
Is everything okay?

Yeah it’s nothing that can’t wait

 

_2 Missed Calls - Jonas_

“Everything okay, Isak?” Eskild shot him a concerned glance when he hadn’t responded to his earlier question from his spot at the stove.

“Uh yeah,” Isak nodded, not looking up from his phone before putting it to his ear, “just give me a sec.”

_“Hey, you’ve reached Jonas. Feel free to leave a message that I will never listen to instead of texting like a normal person. *beep*”_

Jonas

Hey, you called?  
Is everything alright?

He was about to shoot off one more message when he received another incoming call, this time it was Eva.

“Hey, where are you?” Eva asked before he could get a greeting out.

“Umm out, what’s up?” Isak hesitated.

“Are you with Jonas right now?”

“No,” he said bringing his brows together, “he called me a couple of times but I can’t reach him now. Is everything okay?”

“You should go see him. He could really use his best friend right now.” Eva paused, “he was at the skate park last time I saw him.”

“Okay now you’re worrying me. What happened?”

Isak was met with a long silence and he could feel his stomach drop, anticipating the words before she even said them.

“We broke up.” Eva got out, her voice cracking in the middle.

“Shit,” Isak whispered.

“Yeah so you should really go see him,” she rushed.

“Are you o-” He didn’t get to finish his sentence before the call disconnected.

Stunned he stared at the screen in his hand, momentarily frozen and then he was rushing towards the front door of the apartment shoving his feet inside the first pair of shoes he saw, barely pausing long enough to call to a bewildered Eskild that he’ll be back.

The skate park wasn’t far from Isak’s new place. Well technically Eskild’s place, but he had opened his home up to Isak for good after a year and a half of letting him crash on the couch whenever he needed to and Isak had immediately accepted, never looking back.

A short ten minutes later, Isak made it to the park entrance only to find the place empty. He checked the area surrounding the skate park, even going as far as to look up the trees, calling Jonas’s name as he did so. But he was nowhere to be found.

Isak dialed his phone again as he left the park, but was left listening to his voicemail once more. Hanging up he made up his mind and turned to go the opposite way, hoping that it was all just a misunderstanding and Jonas was at home safe in his bed this late at night. He cursed himself for leaving home without his bike and set out into a run towards Jonas’s house.

By the time he arrived at his destination, he was a sweaty, panting mess. Except when he glanced up at the house, there was no light shining from Jonas’s bedroom window and his bike, which usually stood leaning against the tree in their front yard, was gone. There was however light coming out of the living room window indicating that at least someone was awake.

Determined to track down his best friend, Isak walked up to the front door and knocked softly, hoping that whoever was around wouldn’t be too upset with him coming around at such a late hour.

The door opened to Jonas’s surprised looking father.

“Isak? What are you doing here, is everything alright?”

“Um yes, sorry, Mr. Vasquez- I was wondering if Jonas was around?” He asked the man that had been and still was like a second father to him. More so than his own sometimes.

“I think he’s still out with Eva.” he answered trying to be helpful.

Well that wasn’t it, Isak thought. But he didn’t want to panic the man either. At least not until he had checked every place Jonas could possibly be at.

“O-oh right, I forgot they were hanging out today. Sorry to bother you and thank you for your time.” Isak rushed out before bidding Jonas’s father a good night and headed back onto the road.

Wandering around aimlessly, he did not realize he had somehow ended up on the path leading to his parents house until he looked up from his feet, taking in his surroundings. And there just down the road sat a lone figure on the curb, feet stretched out into the empty street, his bike lying on the ground next to him. Recognition crossed his features and he immediately broke into a run.

“Jonas!” He called once he was only a couple of meters away, voice echoing in the quiet night. But the curly haired boy didn’t look up. The only reaction to his presence he received was when he stood right next to the boy and saw him hunch down further, shoulders going up.

“Hey man, is everything alright?” He asked taking a seat on the curb next to him. A stupid question, he knew given Eva’s call earlier. But he was at a loss on how to approach the topic. However, Jonas seemed to be focused on something different.

“I stopped by your parents’ house, but your mom said you didn’t live there anymore.” He said sounding confused.

Oh.

“Yeah,” Isak awkwardly shuffled his feet “I moved out.”

“When?” The word sounding both like an accusation and a question.

“A month ago.”

Jonas pursed his lips, nodding as if he were milling something over in his head, but he remained silent.

“I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

“No, you don’t owe me anything.” Jonas spoke quietly.

“Yes I do,” Isak insisted. “You’re my best friend, I should have at least told you that.”

“Am I still?” Isak turned to look at Jonas at the hoarse sound of his voice to see tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He wasn’t sure if they were meant for him or Eva, or if they were the result of both.

“You are.” Isak’s tone firm.

“Doesn’t feel like it anymore,” Jonas whispered “I can’t even remember the last time it was just the two of us together. You’re always busy and now you’ve moved out?” He sounded confused and hurt.

“It’s not like you’ve been making any time lately either,” Isak mumbled, the accusation stinging.

“No, I guess not,” Jonas contemplated, “but why did you move?”

“I just couldn’t stay there anymore.”

“Why though? What could be so bad- your mom?” Jonas asked surprised.

Isak hung his head, “yeah.”

“But I thought things were getting better, you stopped talking about it so I just assumed…” he trailed off, the realization hit him and he closed his eyes with a sigh. “Why?” He asked again.

Isak gave a small shrug, “you seemed busy, distracted. I didn’t want you to have to deal with my shit.”

“I’m sorry,” Jonas apologized, his eyes searching the side of Isak’s face, wondering when his best friend started carrying so many secrets within him. “We’re supposed to be friends, you shouldn’t have had to take that on by yourself.”

“Best friends,” Isak corrected him.

“Yeah,” Jonas smiled weakly, “best friends. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“I didn’t exactly make give you a chance to be,” Isak shrugged. “But you’re here now.”

They sat together quietly for a while, both looking up at the clear night sky, neither knowing how to continue, how to approach the topics plaguing each of them.

Eventually it was Jonas who drew enough courage first.

“So what happened?” He asked simply, leaving it up to Isak to decide what he was willing to share and how much of it.

“It was over a year ago...it wasn’t a good day for my mom and I ended up meeting this guy, Eskild,” he started.

“Your soulmate?” Jonas asked immediately and Isak’s heart stopped at the two words, because of the implication they carried.

“No, why would you think that?” Isak pulled a face, moving away from Jonas just the slightest bit, but enough for him to take notice. “He’s a guy.” He added weakly.

“So?”

“My soulmate is not a guy.” Isak said weakly. And all of a sudden all of the work he had put into trying to accept himself since meeting Eskild flew out the window, replaced by fear and defensiveness.

“Why not?” Jonas asked softly, ever observant eyes roaming over Isak’s profile.

“It just can’t be.”

“You can’t control who your soulmate is, gender or otherwise.” His voice still just as soft, as if wanting to avoid spooking Isak.

Isak simply shook his head, his mouth dry and unable to form a response as it dawned on him. Jonas already knew.

But they didn’t need words. They had known each other for years and their silences were more telling than a hundred sentences.

Instead, a reassuring hand fell on his shoulder. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything one way or another. Not today. Not even tomorrow if you don’t want to. But whenever you do want to talk, about anything, just remember that I’m here and I won’t go anywhere.”

Isak leaned his head to the side to rest on Jonas’s hand and closed his eyes. Greedily accepting the comfort being offered. Comfort that was so rarely being offered to him from the people surrounding him these days, with the exception of Eskild.

“Eva called me,” Isak said once again looking up at the clear sky, hoping he could return even a fraction of the comfort Jonas had lent him. Jonas sighed in return and leaned against him.

“We fought,” he offered in answer.

“People fight,” Isak said simply.

“Not like this, I’m pretty sure she hates me now.”

Isak shook his head stubbornly, “she called me telling me to find you so you wouldn’t be alone. I don’t think that’s the behaviour of someone who hates you.”

Jonas shrugged, “you didn’t see how angry she was. I really fucked up this time. And now she’s stuck with a soulmate she could never love back.”

It was the first time Isak experienced anything close to heartbreak, but not for the reasons he would have originally thought. It wasn’t because his best friend confessed his love for another person. But because this boy next to him who approached him when he was too shy to talk to anyone all those years ago and loyally stuck by his side all these years was in pain. Because Isak was so full of admiration for the boy who stood up for him when he couldn’t. Because Isak was filled with love for Jonas. Not a jealous love, that saw his soulmate as a threat, but a pure love that simply wanted to see his best friend happy and loved.

The sudden realization almost had Isak feeling light headed, the immediate relief from the burden he had carried within him for so long rushing through him. He had always loved Jonas, but he had never been in love with him. All that time he was so engrossed in the idea of soulmates and the importance of having one, being loved by one. Someone to take away the pain he felt at home and take him to the perfect life that was out there waiting for him. Yet he never even stopped to consider that he’d have to fight for the life he wanted. Soulmates weren’t a fix to life. Jonas and Eva were proof of that. His parents were proof of that. But what he did already have was those who loved him and in that moment it was enough. He had enough strength to keep going and to lend some to his best friend.

“You’ll find your way back to each other,” Isak promised, “the two of you will have the ending of storybooks.”

“You’re still into all that shit?” Jonas laughed wetly.

“Of course,” Isak said with mock sincerity. “The two of you will get your happy ending, I’ll see to it myself.”

“My very own fairy godmother.” Jonas continued to laugh and Isak saw genuine hope and happiness in the features of his face.

-

The next week passes by in a blur for Isak and while he sees Even in his next class that same week, he doesn’t have an opportunity to talk to him. Not that he could even come up with a good reason if he tried. But he still remains on his mind. Maybe not in the forefront as he has both exams, assignments, and papers to focus on, but it seems he’s always there in the back of it despite his conversation with Eva where he had concluded that his attraction would lead nowhere.

He’s busy working on one of those assignments in the same library he used to visit in his Nissen days, even going as far as to take the same spot whenever he can. It feels nice, like he can connect to a younger version of himself and he wonders if there isn’t a universe where a younger version of himself had felt his presence and receive comfort from him even if the version in this universe did not.

A tap on his shoulder takes him out of his musings. Annoyed, he removes his headphones and turns around to find Even towering over him still dressed from being outside in the cool weather.

“Isak, right?”

“Mhm,” Isak nods, not able to come up with anything else to say because he’s once again mesmerized by his face. Snapping out of it, he scolds himself. He knows absolutely nothing else him and here he is running around acting completely smitten. For all he knows, the guy could be a complete dick.

“I’m Even, from your film studies class, we met briefly? I hear you’re the person to go to for Chemistry help?” Even continues, seemingly unaware of Isak’s inner turmoil.

“Yeah- Yes, I tutor other students in chem from time to time.” He manages to regain his composure despite the eyes trained on him.

“Would you be able to help me?” He asks, handing Isak his course outline.

“Ah, this is first year stuff, easy enough.” Isak nods

“Well for one of us apparently” Even grumbles

“Sorry,” Isak apologizes, a blush creeping across his cheeks and right to his ears, “that wasn’t fair of me to say. That’d be like you saying film studies is easy.”

“It is though,” Even grins at him causing Isak to shoot back with an unimpressed look.

“If you’re a film studies major, what are you doing taking a first year Chem course?”

“Needed the credits,” Even shrugs.

Isak does have enough on his plate already and he knows he really should be declining, directing him to some other chem student, but for some reason he can’t pass on the opportunity to spend more time with him.

“Alright, I’ll help you.” He agrees.

“Seriously?? Thank you! How much will I owe you for tutoring?” Even asks, eyes brightening to his agreement. And while Isak normally has no problems charging for his help, another idea crosses his mind instead.

“How about in return you tutor me in film studies.”

Even considers him for a moment and breaks into a wide smile, just like he had the say Isak first saw him, causing his heart to speed up just a little.

“Deal,” says holding out a still gloved hand and Isak takes it into his. A thought crosses his mind, it’s so fleeting that he barely pays it any mind, but he wonders what it would be like to touch his bare hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say now that Even is finally in the picture, Isak is SMITTEN!! I had so much fun writing their scenes and now that we've gotten a lot of the background info out of the way we can get to some serious Evak moments!


End file.
